The Last of the Uzuakuma Clan
by Divoratore of Ramen
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto, the loud-mouthed brat and most unpredictable shinobi of Konoha, is going to The Outside. "Metal Monsters," "People with weird energy" who have a 'run away on sight' order, and, worst of all, Fangirls. Just what was Jiraiya thinking?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**_** I don't own anything. If I did, Naruto would be a ton more badass and powerful. The only time it shows him not getting pulverized is when he... um... fights Tobi at the very very very end chapters. I think.**_

_**Humor tag is for general non-seriousness, so don't get your hopes up.**_

**Enjoy!**

On a small dirt path surrounded by tall, thick trees walked a duo of men.

"The Outside? Where's that, Ero-sennin?" asks the shorter of the two, a young blonde haired boy, "Is it farther than Yuki?"

"Oh, it's _way_ farther than Yuki, Gaki." Replies the taller, well-muscled man. "It's around triple the distance."

The two were an odd looking pair, a very short boy who was waving his hands around excitedly, and a giant man, towering head and shoulders over the boy, calmly walking with his hands in his pockets.

"What?" the blonde shouts, "Isn't that, like, around the world?"

"Ha!" The man laughs; shaking his head and making his long, white porcupine hair flip around, "Not even close. The distance from here to Yuki is about ten miles. That's not even close to around the world."

"But I thought that the Nations covered half the world, and water covered the other." The blond argues, his deep blue eye shining with curiosity.

"Is that what they're telling you in the academy now? Jeeze, I know that I suggested they lie to you kids, but I never thought it would get that bad." The man sighs. Removing a hand from a pocket to rub his face. "I guess I'll have to give you a mini-lesson on the way there. One second, and I'll summon up some transportation." He quickly bites the tip of his thumb, making a few drops of blood come out, and runs through some hand signs. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" he shouts, slamming his hands on the ground, making a massive cloud of smoke rise.

"**Jiraiya-sama." **Booms a deep, gravelly voice, **"What do you need me to do?"**

The smoke slowly wafts away, showing a large, yellow toad. It has large, black feet and a black spot on its eyes, resembling a raccoon's mask. All in all, it looked like a giant toad-like school bus, not that the blonde would know what that was.

"Hey, Gamayuso, I need you to take me to the Border." Orders Jiraiya. Gamayuso looked surprised for a second, before glancing at the blonde boy. **"You're taking a child with you to the border, Jiraiya? Are you sure that's a good idea?"**

"Oh, no…" Jiraiya sighs.

"What!?" shouts the blond, "I'm not just some kid! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Future Hokage of Konohagakure!"

The toad scoffed. **"Who'd want a chibi Hokage name 'Fishcake'? The Hokage is supposed to inspire fear in the enemies! Not make them hungry."**

"Why you-!"

'Jeeze, I should've known not to summon Gamayuso. I forgot he like to tease people. Although, I can't blame him.'

The visage of Naruto Uzumaki wasn't a very intimidating one. Standing at four foot eight, he's on the short end of his age group. Combined with his neon orange and blue "Kill Me!" jumpsuit, and the three, small whisker marks that decorate each check, he looks more like a plushy toy than a deadly, well trained assassin. However, under the glaring suit, he's a force to be reckoned with. He's more muscled than the average Chunnin, and he's more flexible that a fairly new Jounin. And his chakra reserves… well, let's just say he's made the Sandaime Hokage, Jiraya's mentor, green with envy multiple times. If Naruto were just a _bit_ more knowledgeable, he'd easily make Chunnin. In fact, that was the point of this trip to the Outside.

'We should get going…'

"Wart face!"

"**Shrimp!"**

'But this is too entertaining to watch. We have plenty of time anyway…'

"Frog!"

"**Monkey!"**

** _A Few Minutes Later..._**

"Ero-sennin…" whines the blonde fishcake, grabbing a large read welt on his head, "Why'd you have to hit me?" He started to rub the bump tenderly.

Hop

"Because you tried to use the Rasengan on Gamayuso." Jiraiya said matter-of-factually.

Thud

"But he started it!" Naruto shouted back indignantly.

Hop

"I don't care. I didn't teach you that so you could use it on your comrades." Jiraiya said, disappointed.

Thud

"But-" "I mean, if you had used your kunai or shuriken, I would've let you." The pervert continued, interrupting Naruto. "Gamayuso could've handled that. However, the Rasengan is different."

Hop

"It's just too powerful to be used in petty disputes like that. You should have learned that in your spar with Sasuke, you know, when you broke a water tower."

Thud

"…" Naruto stared at his clenched fists, his teeth grinding.

Hop

Yes, that was a low blow on Jiraiya's part, but Naruto needs to learn a lesson. He needs to know that you can't use A-rank techniques to argue with people.

Thud

"Sorry." Naruto eventually mumbled, still not looking up.

Hop

Jiraiya just sighed. "It's no problem, Gaki. Just remember what we talked about, okay?" He reached over and ruffled the blonde's hair.

Thud

"Okay." Naruto said, swatting the hand away.

Hop

"…"

Thud

"Pervert." Naruto mumbled.

Hop

Said pervert twitched.

Thud

"Gaki." Jiraiya shot back.

Hop

The 'annoying brat' twitched.

Splash!

_**A few miles out to sea...**_

"Okay, Gaki, back on topic, I need to tell you about the Outside." Jiraiya begins, waiting until Naruto gets comfortable and is paying him full attention, "First, and I'm talking from experience here, don't try to fight the big moving metal things."

"Big, moving metal things?" Naruto parrots incredulously.

"Yeah! I know it sounds odd, but it's true! They have huge metal monsters there that they've tamed to carry people around. They're called…" Jiraiya pauses, trying and failing to create suspense, "… Cars!" He ends, waving his hands around grandiosely.

Naruto just stares at him, "Yeah… right… just like the Snipes?"

"That was a right of passage!" Jiraiya defends indignantly, waving a dismissive hand at Naruto, "Every decent mentor takes his pupil on a Snipe hunt! Even the people in The Outside!"

"Iruka-sensei didn't and he's the best teacher in Konoha." Naruto argues.

"He _couldn't_ do it. He's a teacher, not a mentor, so he doesn't have enough time to take every single one of his pupils out for one."

"…" Naruto pauses, before sighing. "Just move on to the important, _real_, facts Ero-sennin."

"Whatever! Just don't blame me when you get run down by a Car!" The old hermit laughs, "Well, since you won't believe me, I'll move on." He sits down, his geta-clad feet resting in a comfortable position. "The people there are very, _very_ weak. They're all civilians, and only a few have any type of decent combat training. It's even suspected they don't even _know_ about Chakra." The old man shrugged. "However, they make up with it their technology." Seeing his blonde pupil's curious look, he decides to elaborate. "They've invented handheld launchers they call 'guns'. What a gun is, is a metal machine that, when you pull a certain lever, launches a small metal projectile at around half a mile per second. That's about as fast as a high Gennin to low-Chunnin can throw a Kunai. For us, that's nothing too bad, especially since it makes a loud 'bang' whenever it's used. We both will have plenty of time to either dodge or block. However, for the people with civilian reflexes, it's an extremely dangerous threat. I'm going to get you a miniature one to keep on you at all times, in case you come across a mugger or a thug."

"Can't I just use my Jutsu?" interrupts the blonde shinobi, scratching his chin.

"Normally, yes. However, for whatever reason, the main five Kage want to keep us secret from The Outside." Jiraiya answers, folding his arms and huffing.

"The main five Kage?" Naruto asks, the curiosity basically tangible in his voice.

"The Hokage, Tsuchikage, Raikage, Kazekage, and Mizukage." Jiraiya offhandedly replies, "They govern the five most powerful countries." Seeing that his temporary student was satisfied, he continued. "Even though The Outside is almost all civilian, there are a few people who have an energy similar to Chakra. _Stay away from them._ They're unknown, and they could be extremely dangerous. They're also very adept at Genjutsu, so if you feel one, dispel it and get out of there as soon as possible." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Naruto open his mouth to argue. "No. There can be no discussion about this. It's a shinobi's job to be paranoid, if they want to stay alive. If you don't promise me, shinobi's honor, right now I'll just turn around and head back to shore. I have plenty of other places to check up on that can give the same kind of training that you would get at The Outside." Jirayia's face had gone hard, showing how serious he was about this.

"Right." Naruto understood the severity of the situation completely; he was just going to argue about the fact that the old 'super pervert' didn't teach him how to detect Genjutsus that are over D-rank. As if reading his thoughts, Jiraiya said: "We'll work on how to dispel the larger ones soon."

Naruto nodded, showing he heard. He took a kunai from his back pouch and cut open his hand. "I, Uzumaki Naruto, Pledge on my career as a shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato, as well as my ambition to be Hokage, to try my best to stay away from anyone I feel an odd energy coming from." By the end of his speech, his blood had spread all around his hand, and was dripping off. "I would like Jiraiya of the Sannin to be my pledge holder, and to be the one who deals out the punishment should I fail." He extended his hand to Jiraiya.

"And I, Jiraiya of the Sannin, will accept this duty as pledge holder and punishment dealer to Uzumaki Naruto." The old man grabbed the boy's hand and shook it. Instantly, the hard looks on their faces melted, showing one ginning visage and one pleased smirk. Apparently, Naruto could pay attention when he was being taught.

Suddenly, a voice interrupted their moment, **"You'd better wash that blood off! It's really hard to get the stains off when it dries!" **shouted their large yellow boat.

"No problem, Gamayuso!" Jiraiya shouts back, "Naruto would be happy to do that for you! Right?" He finishes, glaring at the young boy.

Naruto just sighed, his shoulders dropping. "Fine." He conceded, "But only because you would throw me off if I didn't." He picked up his pack and started rummaging through it.

Jiraiya lets out a bark of laughter. "I wouldn't throw you off!" He exclaimed, "I'd toss you!" Naruto just rolled his eyes and pulled a rag out of his pack.

"Is there any difference?" Naruto says, sighing. He dunks the rag into the seawater.

"Yep! But I'll never tell you!" The pervert cackles, making Naruto roll his eyes again. "Well, that's it for the stuff that I can tell you about. There's much, much more, but you need to have hands-on experience for that."

"Like what?" The fishcake starts scrubbing the toad's knobbly back.

"Mostly just the technology, but there are a lot of differences in culture. Different food, different looks, they even do long-range communications differently."

"…" Naruto freezes, staring at the back of the toad with wide eyes.

"Gaki?" Jiraya asks, concerned, "You okay?"

"…There's Ramen there still, right?" He sounded desperate, like someone just told him he would die in an hour.

Jiraya just smirked evilly. "No."

Plop

** "Did he just faint?" **asked Gamayuso.

"GYAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

_**END CHAPTER**_

**Okay! So! First story here, um... Yay? I don't really know what to think about this. I would like some pointers on what to do to improve, because I'm new to writing, but any and all flames will be ignored. Especially the ones that complain about rating. It's a Naruto and Highschool DxD crossover, of course it's gonna be M. I would also like tips on how to make my chapters longer. Less than two thousand words... It just feels like so much more when I'm writing and typing it... I won't get to the part where he goes to Kuoh Academy until chapter three. Maybe. It may take a bit longer, because I'm planning on going into a bit of depth in Naruto's different personality. He's still a lovable, protective idiot, but I just want him to be a bit darker on the inside. It doesn't seem right that he has absolutely _no _mental trauma from what happened to him. Even if it was just glares and insults, neglect is a serious thing. I'm also going to be changing a bit of his past, just to give him some more justification on being dark. Other than that, it's all original personalities. Naruto is also going to be a lot stronger here. He's becoming a magic-wielding devil and is going to be able to use Kurama's chakra a lot more freely, so he'd better be powerful or I'd kick my own ass. Flames are accepted for Naruto being weak.**


	2. Training

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Highschool DxD. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this stuff. I'd be rich.**_

_**Enjoy**_

Out in the middle of nowhere, on the endless sea, was a large yellow toad. On its back was to figures, both trying their best to hide from the blazing sun in the cloudless sky.

"Ero-sennin!" the blond one, Naruto shouts while covering his face with both arms, "We've been out here for three whole days! When are we going to reach this place?"

"Eventually, brat." Replies the tall one, Jiraiya, who was lounging under a large beach umbrella, his hands behind his head acting as a pseudo-pillow. "You should rest, though," he continues, "'cause as soon as we cross The Border, we have to walk the rest of the way." He slowly sits up, groaning a bit at the effort, "Even if you have massive Chakra and stamina reserves, it's never fun to run on water for three or four hours straight."

The blonde sighs. "Fine." He sits up and gets into a meditation position. "Tell me when we get there." He closes his eyes and starts to even out his breathing.

Jiraiya just stared at him, slowing blinking. "You know how to meditate?" he asked, an eyebrow slowly rising.

The blond cracked open an eye. "Yes." He says, clearly annoyed, "Iruka-sensei forced me to learn back in the Academy. I only use it when I'm trying to pass time, though."

"Well, you have a very good technique. It allows you to sit up comfortably while using no effort to support yourself. I'm guessing you added that on?" Jiraiya asks, his gaze shifting around the blonde's body, scrutinizing its form.

Naruto shut his eye again and sighed. "Yeah. I kept falling asleep whenever I meditated, so I improvised." He shifted a little bit, and continued, "Whenever I fell asleep in the old position, I face planted, so I made this one so my spine can support my weight no matter what."

Jiraiya sweat dropped. "You do realize you could have just learned to not sleep…" he trailed off, waving his hand a little.

"I did." Naruto yawned, "I just don't like to not fall asleep. And anyway, isn't meditation supposed to be relaxing?"

"Well, yeah…" agrees the old pervert, "but not _that _relaxing."

"Whatever. I'll try to not not to." Naruto says, slightly opening an eye.

"Good." Jiraiya says, slightly relieved that his student was finally listening to him.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Wait a second…"

_ Snore_

"He double negatived me… he really does take after his father…" Jiraiya sighed, making himself comfortable for the long ride.

_**LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK  
**_

_ Why was nobody looking at him? Why wasn't anyone feeling him when he grabbed them? Did he not exist? Was he a ghost? Those were the thoughts of a small, four year old blonde boy. He was wearing a torn white shirt and ripped brown shorts, and looked like he climbed out of a dumpster. The more he thought on it, the more he started to panic. He _was _a ghost, wasn't he? Maybe he _didn't_ exist. He slowly backed up, eyes wide, his head spinning. How could he prove to himself that he was real? Maybe… maybe if he hurt the other people he would feel alive… No… that wouldn't work, _they _would feel it, but what would that prove to _him_? Maybe… he could hurt himself? He would feel it, and that would definitely prove it to himself._

_ He slowly turned around, starting to walk in the direction of his 'house.' It was more of a hovel, being just a cardboard box with a ripped tarp over it. However, it worked to keep out the elements, and he remembered seeing a lot of little pieces of glass around it. He slowly gained speed, picking up from a walk to a light jog, to a hard jog, to a full out sprint. He raced in between the unresponsive villagers, before turning down a dimly lit alley. He ran for about half a minute, before the alley opened up into a large street. He passed multiple buildings, all having a dim red lantern hanging in front of the door, and a few women who were wearing very little clothing. _

_ He made a sharp turn down a side alley and slowly stopped, looking at his small cardboard home. He slowly walked over to the far wall and grabbed a thin piece of glass. _

_He slowly brought it up to his arm, slightly touching it, and sliced._

"_Ah!" the boy screamed, jumping back a little bit and dropping the shard of glass.. "That hurt!" He started to rub his arm, not noticing that it closed up extremely quickly. "Wait… that hurt…" He giggled, and picked the bloodstained shard again, gazing into it dreamily. "It worked…" suddenly feeling much, much better, he skipped over to his box, squeezing the piece of glass tightly, making sure he knew the pain. He stopped, however, when he was right in front of his box. He tilted his head slightly and frowned, as if trying to hear something, before his grin grew._

_ He reached inside, and grabbed a thin leathery strip. He quickly pulled, and slammed the ball of fur connected to the other side into the wall on his right._

"_Another rat… I'm going to have to move again if they keep coming inside." He fake sighed, his grin still prominent, before opening his mouth to speak again. "Oh well." He reached down and pulled the rat up to his face. "Hello, Mr. Rat. My name is… well… I don't know my name, but I'd like to ask you over for dinner." He waited a little, before continuing, "What are we having for dinner, you ask? Well, I'm gonna have rat." He paused again. "What are _you_ going to eat? I don't think you understood me. I'm having rat. You're a rat." The boy giggled, throwing the dead rat into his cardboard box again._

_ He was definitely feeling better now. Maybe he should do this more often._

_ Slowly, the image started to fade, however the boy didn't seem to notice, only skipping around with the bloody piece of glass in his hand and a massive grin on his face. Eventually, the fading receded, and the little boy was in a small stand, looking almost exactly the same. He had an old man with him, with a very grandfatherly feel.  
_

"_Would you like some Ramen, Naruto?" the old man asked the ecstatic little boy._

"_Yeah! Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!" the boy chanted back.  
_

_If you looked closely enough, you could see a slight bulge in the boy's back pocket where a small shard of glass was._

_**LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK LINE BREAK  
**_

_** With Jiraiya**_

Jiraiya was sitting cross-legged, reading a small, red-covered book. He periodically giggled, confusing the toad that was carrying him.

"**Jiraiya-sama?"** Gamayuso asked, **"What are you reading?"**

"A terrific book!" he replied, "It's similar to the ones I write, however it has a lot of boring plot. I mean it goes for a whole paragraph without even mentioning anything perverted multiple times! However, I just skip those parts." He finished with another giggle, and a quick wipe of the blood dribbling down form his nose. "The rest of the is gold, though! If I ever find the author, I'll give him a free copy of my Icha Icha!" He raises another book, this one in orange, above his face.

Gamayuso just sighed at his summoner's perverse habits, but adopted a thoughtful face after a second. **"You mean to say,"** the toad began cautiously, **"That you're planning on releasing your series in the Outside?"** He gave a little shudder, dreading the answer.

"Planning to?" Jiraiya asked, surprised. "No."

Gamayuso relaxed and gave a sigh of-

"I already have!" the proud pervert finished, striking his famous 'super pervert pose.'

-frustration. He face palmed, dragging his hand down his face. **"You'd better not let the Fishcake tell Tsunade-sama. She'd pulverize you." **The toad said, making Jiraiya cringe and subconsciously bring his legs in a defensive position over his jewels.

"Yeah… that'd be a good idea…"

"Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!" Jiraiya turns around slowly to face the voice. "Ramen!" He looks down to the sleeping form of Naruto. "Ramen!"

He chokes back a laugh.

Chomp!

"**Gyahhh!"** the transport screams, rolling over to rid his back of its attacker. Jiraiya flies off and neatly lands on his hands and feet. He quickly looks up just in time for an orange and blue blur to slam into his face, making him lose his balance and fall in the water.

A few second later had an angry white haired pervert pulling a screaming blonde-haired fishcake from the water. Jiraiya lifted up the newly conscious blond and glared, Naruto glaring back, both gently bobbing in the water.

"Why'd you wake me up?" screamed the blonde.

"**Because you tried to eat me!" **the toad screamed right back, stopping anything Jiraiya was tying to say.

"I was having a good dream, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled back indignantly. "It's not my fault it was about food!"

"**That's not an excuse!"**

"Both of you! Shut up!" The white haired pervert shouted, now walking on water, "We were at The Border anyway! Gamayuso! Dismissed!"

"**Of course, Jiraiya-sama." **The toad responds, saluting. He disappears into a large smoke screen a second later, after giving Naruto another glare.

"Naruto! Get up here! We need to run the rest of the way." Jiraiya shouted at said blonde, reaching a hand down to lift him out of the water. Naruto grabs it and hauls himself out. Jiraiya quickly reaches behind him and pulls out two small tags. He stuck one tag on his own chest and another on his student's forehead, making the blonde growl.

"What are these for?" He asks angrily, swatting Jiraiya's hand away.

"Drying you off." The R-rated author replied, making the Hitsuji seal. "Fuuin."

After that one word was said, all of the water immediately flew off their bodies, hanging in mid-air for a few seconds before rushing into the seal tag in a thin stream. Any other person would be in awe from that display. Naruto just grunted.

"I still don't see why _I_ can't learn fuuinjutsu. It's not like I don't have the Chakra for it." He mumbles, kicking at a small wave that was lapping at his feet. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down, slouching slightly. He started to glare at anything he could see, scaring away a small school of fish.

'Aah. The basic 'gloom and doom' sulking technique.' Thinks the old pervert wistfully, 'Fugaku was the one who made that, if I remember correctly.' He scratched his chin, looking amusedly at the unintentional Uchiha mimicker.

"Hey, Naruto," Jiraiya beings, making his student move his angry glare up at him. "You want to know why I'm not teaching you Fuuinjutsu, right?" Naruto's composure changed from anger to curiosity and back in less than a second, but it was plenty of time for Jiraiya to notice. Naruto nodded a little. "It's because you would be too good at it. I'm saving that for last, so that way you can wow the village immediately." Not entirely true, but not entirely false, either. He would need better Chakra control and patience, but that's a minor detail. Lie or not, however, it did the trick for the fishcake. He immediately straightened up, and scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Yeah, I guess that I _am_ that great!" He boasted. Jiraiya laughed, slapping the boy on his back.

"Yeah you are Gaki! Yeah you are." Jiraiya says a hand on the smaller's shoulder. "However you're Genjutsu sucks."

Cue faceplant.

"You can only detect academy levels, and you can't dispel anything. Where we're going, that can't happen." The pervert continues while watching his student pick himself up. "So, we're not going to start for a little while." Naruto turns toward his mentor, looking expectant. "Make the Hitsuji seal and get into your ready position."

Naruto nodded and set his legs shoulder length apart. He turned his feet outwards, and squatted so his knees were at an almost perfect ninety-degree angle. He brought his hands up to a plus like position. "Ready." He said, looking up at his sensei.

"Okay. Now, stop kidding around and get into position." Jiraiya says, a little annoyed at his student's perceived joke.

"This is my position, Ero-sennin. It's what they showed us at the academy." Naruto argued, slightly confused at the old man's words.

"No, that's the basic Samurai position. So either your teacher was stupid, or you just didn't pay attention." Explained the tall man. As he was looking at his student's form he noticed a slight change. He quickly looked up to his student's face in time to see a small, melancholic smile. However, it disappeared a second later, replaced with a large, strained, grin.

"Of course I didn't pay attention! The Academy was boring! I was probably planning a prank!" The fishcake exclaimed, grinning a wide grin, making his eyes close. Although Jiraiya had a small suspicion that if Naruto's eyes were open, he wouldn't see anything like a smile there. However, the suspicion disappeared when Naruto opened his eyes. They were sparkling with happiness. "The only reason that I was paying attention to that stance was because it came right after a fact about the Yondaime!" He shouted happily, striking a goofy pose. Jiraiya chuckled lightly at his student's antics.

"Well, it's time for you to learn a proper stance. Get into the most comfortable, relaxed position possible." Naruto look confused, his overzealous personality showing it, but he complied. He leaned back a little, stuck his hands behind his head, and completely relaxed, accidentally cutting off the Chakra flow that was going to his feet. Next thing he knew, he was completely underwater, flailing around. A large hand reached down and grabbed his scruff, pulling him back up. The soaked blonde squinted at the man holding him up.

"Why didn't you warn me?" he asked, sighing a little.

Jiraiya just grinned. "'Cause it's funny." Naruto rolled his eyes and shook the old pervert's hand off. He landed a bit unsteadily and had to take a second to right himself, but he soon stood straight and was giving a little glare to the old man. He got back into his relaxed position, though, and took care to not to cut the Chakra flow.

"Okay. Good job, Gaki. Now, make the Hitsuji seal." Jiraiya says, slowing walking around his student. Naruto does so, keeping his hands behind his head. "This is the basic shinobi stance. It's not set, more of a guideline, but it's still very effective. It's the most comfortable position you feel like you can be in, so that you can easily maneuver around things that are thrown at you, yet still be able to concentrate. It's hard to use in heated combat, though, so we'll have to train with that. Your stance also has a very useful benefit to it as well, that you figured out by yourself. It's that you have your hands behind your head, so nobody can really know what you're doing without either a bloodline or a scout on the sidelines." The pervert paused for a second, before adding: "Before it's too late, that is." He didn't say anything for a while, just circling his student. However, said student's patience didn't like that, and his eyes snapped open to glare at his sensei.

"One minute, thirty-two seconds." Jiraiya suddenly said, interrupting the blonde. Naruto's glare turned confused. "That's how long you can sit still. We need to work on that." He added, seeing Naruto's questioning stare. "However, we'll have to do that later. I wasn't expecting to have to teach you how to use a proper stance, so I can't take much more time on this." Jiraiya sighed, looking at the sun, which was slowly coming down from its noon peak. "I'll do a quick begging tutorial on Chakra control that you can work on while we run, but we will need to start moving soon." The old man looked at his student, a thoughtful gleam in his eye, before his expression got downright evil, his mouth forming a face splitting grin, his bangs blocking the sunlight from hitting his eyes, and a small red gleam coming from the reflection of his clothes.

Needless to say, Naruto wanted nothing to do with whatever Jiraiya wanted.

However, it seemed that the little fishcake had no control over the matter, as his perverted teacher suddenly wrapped his waist up with rope, tying it tightly before yelling a quick "Stay on top of the water!" and blasting off in the direction of the Outside. The slack of rope was quickly running short, with Naruto looking at it almost like a cartoon character would in this situation, before his waist was tugged forward, leaving a small cloud of smoke where the blonde used to be.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH" was the only semi coherent thought in the young blonde's mind as he skipped across the water, trying to right himself, and he voiced it quite nicely. He slowly regained his footing, the heels of his feet battling the water below, and his hands grabbing onto the rope for dear life above. After getting over the initial shock, Naruto registered the pervert's words before this happened, and the purpose for which he was training. He channeled Chakra into his feet, and stuck both of his feet flat on the water. However, it wasn't doing anything, and Naruto quickly started to panic. And, when any young Genin was panicked, they thought "More Chakra!" was the answer to everything. So, our favorite Jinchuriki pumped as much Chakra as his could to his feet. He slowly started to rise, and the wakes he was generated slowly died down.

The blonde grinned massively, having just discovered the exhilaration that was ski-less water skiing, while his teacher's insane grin calmed down to a smile that told the world he was happy with his life, and he had all he could ever ask for.

After all, he had porn, money, and a hyperactive, fun loving godson. What else was there _to _ask for?

More porn came to mind, but that idea was quickly squashed.

_**End Chapter**_

_**Second chapter is up. Don't kill me, please. I really wasn't expecting writing to be so time consuming, and so difficult. I heard others talk about it, but I never took it seriously. If someone who wants to write is reading this, don't underestimate the time it takes. I'm going to change my max deadline from one week to two. I'll still try to get one out each week, but I'm going to give myself more time for the maximum wait. Now, it's time for six HUGE thank yous!**_

_**To all of my Followers! Thank you so much! The first time I looked at the update, TWO HOURS after I updated it, there were already six followers. If that's never happened to you, you can't understand the happiness felt by that.**_

_**To all of my Favoriters! Thank you too! The same thing happened as with the Followers, but there were five! It's not a very large number but it still made me feel awesome.**_

_**To the people who both Favorited and Followed! You guys are awesome! I hope that I didn't make you guys too annoyed at having to wait for me.**_

_**To all of my Reviewers! I just don't have any words. All of you were fantastic. Even the ones that were one or two words, while not as uplifting as the others, was still something that made me all fuzzy and stuff inside.**_

_**To AbyssalDaemon! Thank you so much for the help. I just want to reassure you that I'm not going to make Naruto Emo. And if i do, it won't be for too long. As you see, he will have a few cutting incidences, but that's just his way of substituting Gaara's way of 'making himself real.' I'll be integrating your point outs on Naruto's personality into the story, because they made a lot of sense after I thought them over. The neon kill me stuff is something that I agreed with after I saw the first season again, but I already have a plot point for it, so I'll keep it.**_

_**To Fairy Tail Dragon Slayer! You were also extremely helpful. As you can see, I added in a lot of words. Three thousand and twelve is a great upgrade. Your suggestion on listening to music was amazing, and I haven't tried out the AMV tip yet, but I'll make sure to find a good one and try it out. When you suggested that 5"4' is a good height, I changed it to 4"8'. I guess I'm just not very good at judging height, but I've got people like you to back me up. I was going to go to the "beaten as a child" thing, but I changed my mind, as you can see in the Dream. There will still be beatings, but there will be more neglect. I understand the Shinobi's honor weirdness, but neither of them were very good ninjas anyway... I also put it in there for the times that they pledge their allegiance to the Hokage. I thought they would also do something similar to others, like high-priority customers, or the Daimyo. It's something sort of spur-of-the-moment thing that I thought up, but i have a good plan for something in the future for that, and I hope that it doesn't mess up the story for you. I understand that you're angry about the Genjutsu thing, but Naruto didn't even learn how to dispel a Genjutsu until during the training trip. I decided to stage this before that. And for your other suggestions, I revised the first chapter, so you can go back there to see that I've changed a few things according to your suggestions.**_

_**If someone actually read through all of that, you're impressive.  
**_

_**Please read and review! I would still like tips for my betterment, and I hope I won't lose any supporters due to my time taking.**_


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